Yes, in most states you can use Child Care Assistance to pay a relative, like your mom or sister, to watch your kids. Your state has to approve your relative first. That usually means a background check and some health and safety training, and the exact rules depend on where you live.
Plenty of families already lean on a grandparent or an aunt for child care. If that's you, the person who's been helping for free may be able to get paid for the same work.
Can Child Care Assistance pay a family member to watch my kids?
In most states, it can. Child Care Assistance is sometimes called a child care subsidy or voucher. It's funded by the federal Child Care and Development Fund (CCDF) and run by each state. It helps pay for care while you work or go to school. If you're new to the program, our Child Care Assistance Program overview covers the basics.
Families usually get to choose their provider. According to Childcare.gov's guide to child care financial assistance, care from a relative, friend, or neighbor is called family, friend, and neighbor care.
Your state may use a different name. The most common one is license-exempt care. That means the caregiver doesn't need a child care license to be paid. You might also hear "in-home relative care" or "kith and kin care." They all describe the same idea.
The program pays the provider directly, not you. So your relative has to be set up with your state before any money moves. Ask your state's child care assistance office how that payment setup works before you apply for child care assistance.
Which relatives can be paid through Child Care Assistance?
Each state writes its own list. A grandparent, aunt, uncle, or adult sibling who lives in their own home is often the kind of relative families ask about first. Many states also accept a friend or neighbor with no family tie at all.
A few questions come up often:
- Can a parent be paid for their own child? In general, the program is set up to pay someone else to care for your child while you work or go to school. Ask your agency how this works in your state.
- Does living together change the answer? It can. Some states won't pay a relative who lives in the same home as your child. Others allow it with extra steps.
Here's how that plays out in real life. Say your mom watches your two kids at her house four days a week while you work a warehouse shift. In many states, she could apply to be a license-exempt provider. If your sister lives with you and watches them at your place, your state's household rules matter more.
What does a relative need to do to get approved?
License-exempt care still comes with rules. Your relative skips the full license, but they still have to meet your state's basic health and safety requirements before they can be paid. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Office of Child Care's guide to supporting license-exempt family child care describes how states support and oversee these caregivers.
Requirement | What it usually means | How much it varies |
|---|---|---|
Background check | Criminal history and registry checks, sometimes with fingerprints | Some states handle close relatives differently |
Health and safety training | Short courses on topics like first aid and safe sleep | Topics and hours differ by state |
Home check | A visit or checklist for the home where care happens | Not every state requires one |
Provider enrollment | Paperwork to get set up with the agency for payment | Required before payments start |
Close relatives sometimes get a shorter list. Check your state's current rules through Childcare.gov's state resources page to see which requirements apply to your relative.
Payments usually start after approval is finished. If your relative is watching your kids now, ask the agency how soon they can start enrollment.
How is a relative different from a licensed provider?
The main difference is the license. Here's how the three common provider types compare.
Provider type | Needs a license? | Common requirements |
|---|---|---|
Child care center | Yes | License, inspections, staff background checks and training |
Licensed family child care home | Yes | License, home inspections, background checks and training |
Relative, friend, or neighbor (license-exempt) | No | Background check, health and safety training, possible home check |
A relative may be able to offer flexibility that fits your schedule, like early mornings, nights, or weekends. Your child also stays with someone they already know.
How much does Child Care Assistance pay a relative?
There's no single national rate. Your state sets a maximum rate based on your child's age and the type of care. License-exempt care often has its own rate category, separate from centers and licensed homes.
The program pays your relative directly, up to that rate. You may still owe a copay based on your income, and some families don't owe one at all. For the full picture, see how much the Child Care Assistance Program (CCAP) pays and what CCAP covers.
Do the rules change depending on my state?
They do, quite a bit. Your state decides who counts as a relative, which checks apply, and what the pay rate is. Childcare.gov's state resources page links to each state's child care agency and its provider rules.
California shows how one state handles it. Families in its Alternative Payment Program can choose an approved relative, friend, or neighbor. That person completes the agency's approval process first, which usually includes a background check. Our California CCAP guide covers the details.
What this means for you
You don't need to have every answer before you start. These steps will get you moving.
- Talk with your relative first. Make sure they're willing to complete a background check and training before they're paid.
- Call your state's child care agency. A phone call is often the fastest way to get a straight answer about provider rules.
- Ask specific questions. Can a relative be paid in our state? Does it matter if they live with us? What does my relative need to finish before payments start?
- Start your relative's enrollment early. Payments generally begin only after approval, so the sooner they start, the sooner they can be paid.
If you haven't applied yet, check the Child Care Assistance section of our blog to see what's available on applying. For other programs that help with family costs, browse Turnout's benefits guides.
FAQ
Can my relative get paid for care they already gave?
Usually not, because payments generally start once your relative is approved and enrolled with your state. Ask your agency about its start date rules before care begins, if you can.
Does my mom need a child care license to get paid?
In most states, she doesn't. A relative can be paid as a license-exempt provider without a license. She'll still need to meet your state's health and safety requirements, which usually include a background check.
Can I pay a friend or neighbor instead of family?
In most states, you can. Friends and neighbors fall into the same license-exempt category as relatives. They may face a few more requirements than close relatives, so ask your agency what applies.
Will I still pay anything if my relative watches my kids?
You might. Many states charge a copay based on your income, which you pay to the provider. Your approval notice will list your share.
Turnout is not a law firm and does not provide legal representation.
It's your turn
Paying a relative is one part of the picture. Many states offer other programs, including Child Care Assistance, and eligibility rules vary by state. Visit Turnout's benefits scan page to learn more and see where you can start.